While I always identified as a Christian, it was not until I was fourteen that I actually became one. I grew up, like many others do, going to church, attending Vacation Bible Schools, and saying a blessing before dinner. These were facets of my life that were routine. We simply did them and we never discussed them as a family. When I was around twelve, I started reading the Bible, every day just because it seemed like something Christians should do. I would pray sometimes. Since I identified as a Christian and participated in Christian activities, I felt I knew who God was. However, I wasn’t truly worshiping God. I would often sit in church and wonder if God was really there. It seemed too far-fetched to imagine that an immaterial God could exist.
When I was thirteen, I met a guy in school through mutual friends. We quickly became friends ourselves. Something that interested me about him was that it was so obvious to anyone who knew him that he was a Christian. He always talked about the things he was doing at church and he easily brought up God in conversations. I had never met anyone who talked about their faith so openly. As I considered myself a Christian, I would have conversations with him about God and the Bible.
Our friendship deepened as we kept in touch over the summer and grew even more in the next school year. His faith was challenging to me. He lived a life of trusting in God and I struggled to keep my eyes open when reading the Bible. One particular day that autumn, I realized how hypocritical I was being. I pretended to love God, and yet I didn’t believe He existed. I went up to my bedroom and knelt before my window. I had nothing to bring and nothing to offer, only doubts and questions. I prayed, tears streaming down my face, admitting to the world that I didn’t know if God was real or not. I asked God to show Himself to me if He really was there.
Around that same time, I began reading the Gospel of John and I experienced the transforming power of the Bible. Previously in my daily Bible reading, I had been reading chronologically and I had not made it to the New Testament. Reading John opened my eyes to who Jesus really was and to the incredible sacrifice He made on our behalf. Jesus came to earth to pay for our sins before God. I suddenly saw God not just as someone who wants to heal us physically, but as our Father who wants to restore us to Himself. We all justly deserve punishment for turning away from God and disobeying the commands He gave us. My eyes became opened to the fact that my past of going to church and reading the Bible didn’t make me a Christian. In fact, I had been heading straight to hell.
Because of this transformation in my life, I became hungry to know all I could about God and the Bible. Because of what Jesus did for me, I desired to change my life for Him. I started reading the New Testament. I started listening to Christian music and writing Christian songs and poems, not to become a Christian, but because I lived with the joy that God had already made me one.
Also Read:
Devotional
Saying A Prerequisite to Getting
Inspirational
Has God Let You Down?
Testimonies
A New and Better Job
Saved From a Deadly Disaster
