I was in a deep dark place in my Christianity having walked with God since 1999 and living in an understanding of faith that was more social than spiritual. In 2013, I made some career moves that I am convinced God led me to and I expected immediate results. When they failed to come, I started to lose my faith.

I figured that looking outside for results led me into a place where I felt my ways were not pleasing to God and so that must be why I was failing. I tried over and over again but kept losing my way so I gave into a passive and irresponsive sort of Christian life, that only spoke but had no deeds. I soon drifted into a place of prayerlessness, powerlessness, wordlessness, and fruitlessness. It was a dark place. I had motions on the outside; God’s grace was still evident but I had lost my connection to the source and I was adrift.

I recall one night, I felt like the Spirit of the Lord paid me a visit and He stood over me by the foot of my bed and spoke to me: “I have opened a door before you that no man can close.” I felt joy in my heart because I knew His word was a sure thing. I immediately went to look for the scripture and to my utmost delight I found it in the Book of Revelations. Rev 3.8 “I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door before you that no one can close. You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me.”

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Since then I eagerly awaited the manifestation of God’s word. I actively sought it and I even thought it meant taking up a big job at Amazon Studios in the UK, but that fell through, too.

As I pressed on in the Spirit asking God for this door, I stumbled on this article written by Bryan Craig on the YouVersion Bible app about the dark day of the soul. It was so apt in describing what I was going through spiritually.

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