I’ve always been a big dreamer and spent so much time dreaming of all the different ways my life might look in the future. I spent so much time dreaming of the places I wanted to travel to, jobs I wanted to pursue, and like all other girls, the man I was going to marry. I often created my picture-perfect reality in my mind – only when it is in my mind, it’s not reality. How about you? Do you live in the past, present, or the future?
There was one particular season I longed for and that was life after high school. School and I didn’t go so well together, I wasn’t your typical student and struggled a lot in the traditional schooling environment. And even after changing to a school system that worked better for me, I still struggled a lot. As a result, I went into survival mode and desired for school to be over as soon as possible. My circumstances improved, yet I still longed for more and the future stayed on my mind. But for the months leading up to my final exams, I was a mess and often found myself distancing from reality and living in a dream world to escape.
I’ve always had that tendency to live in my dream world, but I never realized the harm it was doing until not too long ago. I had this plan to go to the Netherlands for a gap year after high school, which was supposed to be a dream come true for me. I mean, working and travelling around Europe! Imagine that! But my first year of high school turned out to be far different from what I imagined.
Starting with intense homesickness I never thought I’d ever have to live through, mixed with job experiences that were anything but delightful, dealing with some financial struggles to being targeted by anxious thoughts, the daydream I held onto for this perfect life after high school fell apart.
No matter how hard I tried to create my dream life, it was not in His plans for me. Not because He didn’t love me, but because I was so blinded by my desires for the future that I had lost sight of what was important. What is important is that He is a God that sees all things and knows all things and He only ever works for what is good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28). Once I realized that I understood that surrendering these burdens and disappointments onto Him was needed. And in all honesty, this is the part I’m still working on.
Living in the future makes you miss the important moments right now. No matter how hard life is in the moment, there are still things to be grateful for. The only reason why I say all this is because it was the hard truth I needed to be reminded of. I got so caught up in my own pity party that I missed all those beautiful moments in life God had in store for me. I know from first-hand experience how hard it is to dig deep and look for the good in the pain, but give yourself the space to feel the emotions and know that God is always listening.
Also Read:
Devotional
Responsiveness: How to Be A Leader Worth Dying For (3)
Inspirational
8 Gifts that Do Not Cost A Cent
Testimonies
It Seemed IMPOSSIBLE!
