One lunchtime at school I was sitting at a table in the canteen just minding my own business when a group of 5th year lads came and sat with me. I was quite shy and embarrassed and just wanted to get up and leave as quickly as possible.
I’d never spoken to any of them before but they were friendly and good fun to be with so I began to sit with them regularly. As time went on we became quite good friends and one week they invited me along to House Fellowship run.
The day was mostly spent playing various sports, which have never been my favourite activity, but thankfully that didn’t put me off and I continued to go along each week. In the evening we would split up into groups for Bible study, then later Mr Smith would preach a sermon. This was the first time that I’d really been confronted with the message of the Bible. I listened to what was said and began to read the Bible for myself and pray each day.
I genuinely enjoyed the meetings and wanted to learn more about God. However looking back I can see that this was just an outward change, I was trying to please God by becoming religious, I hadn’t understood that it was impossible for me to please Him or earn my salvation in any way. I actually remember thinking that I would be okay on the day of judgement because I had started to read and pray. Looking through my old notebook it’s clear that I knew the truth that I was a sinner and need to repent and trust in Christ for forgiveness, but I hadn’t experienced it.
It was as if I thought I could parachute into the middle of the Christian life without getting right with God. I started going to the fellowship in May and soon it was time for the fellowship holidays in the summer. It was there that the Lord opened my eyes to my true condition and showed me my need of Jesus Christ. Throughout the holiday we received clear, systematic teaching from the Bible about the way of salvation. For the first time I began to realise that Christianity was not about me doing things for God, but God saving me through Jesus Christ and His death on the cross for me. I realised that I was the enemy of God because of my sin and that I needed to repent, turn away from my sin and trust Jesus Christ.
This all came to a head during one of the evening meetings towards the end of the holiday. God really spoke to my heart about my sin and I was gripped by the fact that if I died that night, or Jesus came again, I would be lost in my sins and be punished forever. I could think about nothing else. But God did not leave me in this despair. He pointed me to the wonderful Saviour Jesus Christ who had suffered the punishment for my sin on the cross.
That evening I put my trust in Jesus Christ and He saved me. God brought such a wonderful peace to my heart and ever since I’ve had the joy and assurance that I am safe in my Saviour for all eternity. When I returned home I struggled to find a church to attend but the Lord drew near to me and kept my in my new faith. I was blessed with Christian friends who faithfully wrote to me and encouraged me. The Lord kept me hungry for His word and to grow in knowledge of Him.
Several years later while I was staying with friends in Gloucester I realised that I couldn’t go on without regular Christian fellowship and Bible teaching so I began to attend Baptist church. This is a wonderful example of God’s sovereign care for me because that same year I became ill with glandular fever and God really used His people there to comfort and strengthen me. My life would have been so much harder without them. The Lord has been with me throughout my illness, teaching me patience and humbling me. I think that one of the most precious things I’ve learnt, and I’m still learning, is that God is most concerned with who I am not what I do.
My relationship with Him is dependent entirely upon the finished work of my Saviour. God has each day planned out for me and will give me the grace and strength to do what He wants, not what I want to do. A couple of years ago Oliver and Alison invited me to come and live with them for a year. It was a difficult decision to make to leave behind my family and friends and the fellowship I’d come to love at Great Warford. But I knew that my soul would be richly fed from God’s word and God’s greatest desire is for me to grow in godliness. I knew that I would always regret it if I missed this opportunity, so I made the move. And I have been blessed above anything I ever imagined.
Try God
Also Read:
- Understanding God: God of Delegation
- Purpose: Sent to Redeem and Upgrade (1)
- The Pencil Story
- Delivered From a Sinful Lifestyle
- An Easter Reflection
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