I am an introvert. And I’ve always been one of those introverts who prefers my own space. My mission in life is to find seclusion and security. For example, when I was growing up, my dad would call me ‘the hermit’ because I’d hide in my room instead of being out with the family. And as a child, I used to hide behind mum’s skirt so as not to face the unknown. So I try to achieve this mission by finding my own space.
For example, now as an adult, I still don’t like making phone calls! My heart pounds and worry surges through me: What if the person is interrupted by my call? What if they don’t want to speak to me? That’s one of the difficult things about desiring safety and seclusion from others; I get stuck with my own thoughts and doubts! But the problem with keeping to myself is that I lack self-confidence that anyone would want to accept me.
For example, I often think, “Why would God want anything to do with me?” I wasn’t anyone special for Him to care about. Couldn’t I just hide away and try make it on my own? For example, on sunny afternoons I used to go read my Bible on the back lawn and I found out that I wasn’t anyone who God should care about; I was disobedient and deserved to be separated from Him and His goodness. I remembered in P.E. class that day
name calling a friend and telling a lie just so I might look better, then feeling the guilt of it, thinking God should just punish me and leave me. There’s no way He’d want me because I would stuff up when speaking and I couldn’t be faithful.
But this is what Jesus has done for me. The more I kept reading the more I understood that I didn’t need to hide from God because He has freely offered peace and safety in Jesus. Jesus didn’t stay secluded away from us, He became a man and lived and died for us. I just had to trust
Him and would be forever accepted by God. Slowly I did begin to trust Him and found Him to be loving and a refuge. For example, there was the time that I was a teenager at a camp and a bunch of girls were picking on me and my friend.
One night in the cabin they were particularly mean, I lay there pretending to be asleep but praying desperately that God would intervene. I was shying away from confrontation but God gave me courage and I rolled over, faced the girls and told them to stop. I went out to find a leader and things were resolved. I had renewed confidence that God did care and could provide peace even when I couldn’t control what happened around me. And now I’ve continued to find that even when I want to shy away from life’s hardships, God is trustworthy and gives me hope to persevere towards the time when I’ll be with Him in Heaven in total peace and safety.
There are still many times when I stuff up and I feel like I’m no one special, but then I remember the true stories in the Bible of unlikely people that He still worked through, like Moses, and God reminds me that He’s already accepted me and is with me always, He can help me to do what He wants. Now, you may go looking for safety in separating yourself from others and the world, or you may look for it in other places, but ultimately we’re all searching for peace and assurance. The trouble is we can’t control life; things on earth will always be hard. So what about you, do you want a
refuge? God is offering you His peace and safety in Jesus.
Also Read:
Devotional
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Inspirational
Top 10 Reasons To Believe In The Christian Faith
Testimonies
I Stand Restored
He Broke the Chains that Bound Me
