Most of my life has been a struggle with depression, I have tried to commit suicide so many times I lost count, I was addicted to prescription drugs and most of my days were filled with how I could kill myself. And each time I would try I would fail. I took as many as 150 aspirin to 50 painkillers at a time, but I would awake the next morning and be angry that I had failed, only to try again. To make a long story short, I was at the end of my rope so to speak, I had come in contact with a prescription drug that I knew this would be the one, I was tired of feeling all the hurt in my life, I didn’t want to feel anymore.
I made one last attempt at calling out to God as I stood in the shower one morning. And pleading for him to help me, I felt something touch the top of my head and move over my entire body, and I felt a release of the depression, it was like the sun had come out. And I knew I was healed, I was on Prozac at the time and the Lord told me to throw it out, I would not ever need that again. It has been 4 years and I am free of the depression that plagued my life for nearly 20 years.
I began sitting and praying in a quiet place, I wanted so much to see Jesus, to touch his hand and his hair, to be as close to him as I possibly could. As I sat one night in a quiet place, my mind was just on wanting to be near him. And as I sat there I could see him and my hand reaching to touch him, only to be told that I must first praise and worship him before coming to the throne. Being a new Christian I thought I had done something wrong. I didn’t know about entering the throne room, I didn’t know about giving our Lord praise and worship. But I soon learned that this was the way that the Lord wanted us to approach him.
