At a very young age, I was exposed to porn. It changed the way I looked at myself, I saw someone worthless, and I felt like a fraud because everyone at church looked at me and thought I was so Holy and pure, not aware of this hidden sin that was literally eating me up from inside. My solution to this sin was getting baptized, I really thought after I got baptized, this sin would just disappear, and yes, that is possible but the problem was I thought that I alone could overcome this sin.
I was wrong because the same night that I was baptized I fell into the same sin that night. I was so ashamed I did not even want to ask for forgiveness because I was so afraid that I was going to fall into the same pattern of watching porn and masturbating right after asking for forgiveness. That night I felt like a true failure I felt like a disappointment to God.
Later that week, I realized that I truly could not do this on my own and that I needed the Holy Spirit to guide me and to give me self-control I needed him to help me run away from temptation, so I cried out. I sat on my bed l was looking like a waterfall I cried out.
The next morning I woke up, and I could just feel the Holy Spirit present with me. About 2 weeks after this incident, I went to a church camp, and in one of the teachings, the pastor asked, ”If anyone in here is struggling with any sort of addiction please stand up; we want to pray for you. So I stood up and allowed them to pray for me. I really feel like the moment I confessed in front of people that I have some kind of addiction even though they did not know what it was, I was set free from this sin till this day. I struggle with all kinds of temptations but I know the Holy Spirit is with me and is protecting me.
I am writing this to someone that I know needs to hear this testimony; you will get through, this but not alone ask God to help you, confess your sin to him, and tell him how you feel about it and how it makes you feel. Remember God loves you anyway, and He wants you to be free, but you have to say to him ”God, I am all in, I do not want this in my life” And then start acting like it.
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