I was born in Southampton and my family and I moved to Cheshire when I was 7 years old as my Dad took a new job at the Christie Cancer Hospital. I am the youngest of 3 children and we were very fortunate to grow up with not only loving Christian parents but all 4 grandparents’ firm believers also. Growing up we went to church as a family and I remember also praying and reading the bible and Christian books often with my parents.
Despite this, my siblings and I often spent Sunday lunches in particular bickering and trying to disprove God’s existence. This was understandably the cause of great difficulty and sadness for my mum and dad who had been so consistently loving and had tried so hard to help us understand. Eventually my older brother and sister stopped coming to church with us but Mum and Dad encouraged me to still come and perhaps knew deep down that I desperately wanted a real relationship with God.
I attended many youth weekends away with the church and always felt encouraged and motivated to read my bible more and understand God. As many new Christians do, I started by reading Genesis but a few chapters in I felt entirely puzzled and confused. I constantly had doubts about whether God was real and ignorantly saw life as so much easier without God and as a dyslexic I didn’t really want to be reading anything, let alone the bible.
I also remember frequently putting God to the test. If you are real ‘move that cloud’ or ‘do this for me’. Looking back I now know how wicked and foolish this was. Of course, an all-powerful, all-knowing God is capable of absolutely anything but there is not one sign or miracle that would have been enough to make me believe. I lacked understanding and faith.
If he had moved that cloud at the exact time that I had asked I would have only put it down to chance and carried on my day. We see this time and time again in the bible too. The very son of God was stood before the people’s eyes healing individuals and performing miracles and it was still not enough to make them believe. As it is written in 2 Corinthians 5:7
‘For we walk by faith, not by sight’.
Not only do we have the entire written word of God, but we have the very world he created as evidence and proof of his existence. As some of you may know I am a medical student which means that I have unfortunately or fortunately (depending on the time in the academic year it is) signed up to a lifetime of studying the intricacies of the human body. Every day I am blown away by the how complex the human body is. Many of my colleagues and even my siblings have asked me how can your Dad be a scientist, doctor and a Christian, surely they are incompatible? My answer to them is absolutely not! Studying the human body is studying what God has so perfectly created. How can we take the credit for understanding a complex physiological process for example when we have merely discovered it and even then, there remains so many gaps and poorly understood areas. This is clearly God’s infinite intelligence and not our own.
So returning back to how I became a Christian; As teenager I started to prioritise my exams and my grades to the point where I believed I didn’t have the time to go to church or read my bible. Every day for many years I lived my life as I pleased and whilst I would have claimed to be a Christian the truth is I really had no idea what that meant. Very strangely, I wanted to be a Christian but wrestled with my sin and lack of faith. I saw the peace, understanding and wisdom that my parents had, and I knew that it was a peace which couldn’t be obtained from the world. Moreover, the love they had for one another, and their neighbours was a love that I one day wanted to be able to give also.
I began attending a church again when I was at university in London training to be a nurse. A friend of mine posted about church on social media and I remember thinking this was my opportunity to find a church to attend and time to maybe ‘sort my life out’. Despite growing up in a Christian home I was really shocked how little I understood. What is sin I asked and who is Jesus? It wasn’t until I understood these questions that everything else made sense. I REALLY am a sinner! Yes me. Not just those who broke the law, committed murder or were unkind people. No in fact we are all sinners. If you too struggle to believe this, imagine having every wicked thought, action and lie you have ever told or done exposed to someone. What a sickening thought that is. This is what an all-knowing God knows about us, and we deserve punishment for it.
I surrendered all and gave my life to Jesus. Because of Jesus’s death and resurrection, I have a living saviour and the holy spirit as my helper who is working in me to cleanse and sanctify me daily. By God’s grace and goodness, I have been given a new heart and set free from my sin.
I have now been a Christian for 5 years but for various reasons my baptism dates were cancelled or moved. I know now the plans God had in store for me and I am so thankful for this opportunity to give my testimony in this church today in front of both my parents and husband who have had a pivotal role in where I am today. I have also been so privileged to spend many wonderful hours working through the Christian basics courses.
Try God.
Also Read:
- Men in the Bible: A Man of Considerable Goodwill
- The Myth of Omnipresence (1): The 5 Places God Always Is
- Overwhelmed
- Great Truths Adults Learned
- I Passed a Professional Exam and Got a Job After 10 Years
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