I was raised in Nigeria by Christian parents. I grew up hearing about Jesus, about his life and death on the cross. I grew up hearing that forgiveness for sin is found by trusting in Jesus and looking to him for salvation. Yet, I was, as a child, apathetic toward him. Christ’s call to obedience in his word was met with indifference.
I was raised in a wider culture that saw the gospel as a tool for self-exaltation. Coming to Jesus meant getting my heart’s desires. It meant becoming wealthy, healthy, prosperous. Jesus meant, to me, a way to satisfy my idols. I thought, if I ‘trust’ him, I would never fall ill; I would get whatever I desired in life. I was wrong. I had a convoluted view of God. I saw God, not as my creator, the eternal, holy One through whom I live and move and have my being. I saw him as a distant, cold, detached figure ‘out there’. To me, he demanded obedience, and I would try to give it if I received my idols in response. It was merely a transaction.
At the bottom of all this, I would come to realise, was not only an unbiblical view of God, but also a deficient view of man. I did not see God aright and, because of that, I did not see myself aright. I had ‘misdiagnosed’ my plight. Over time, as a child, God opened my eyes to truly see and understand the gospel. I came to see the greatness of my sin and my need for a saviour.
I came to see that a joy of the Christian life is in knowing that even faith in Christ is a work of God’s abundant grace. We do not come to him out of our own wisdom. We come because he opened our eyes to see the severity of our sin and the beauty of Jesus. This was certainly the case for me. Although I had heard of Jesus so many times, God opened my eyes to see what it truly means to know and love him. I would later come to see that the God I have sinned against is not like me. He is perfect in holiness; he is pure, just, and he is immeasurably gracious toward guilty sinners.
All this would unfold more when I later moved to the U.K. as a child. At this point, I was still under a ‘word-of-faith’ system. I believed that Jesus died on the cross to save sinners like me, I believed that if I turned from my sin and looked to him, I would find forgiveness and be reconciled with God. But I misunderstood the implications of the gospel.
I came across several pastors and teachers online, with whom I had no connection. It was a work of God’s kindness. They spoke much of the God who is holy. They submitted themselves under the authority of God’s word. And my sinful flesh recoiled. My response to the holiness of God was not to bow in worship, but to kick against what seemed new to me at the time.
I spent many hours watching and listening to them, then I would gather at a church under a ‘word-of-faith’ system. I wanted my happiness and comfort to be the centre of my Christian life. I wanted to be assured that I could continue to persist with my idols. But I was continually challenged by Scripture. Persistently, they placed God, as he has revealed himself in Scripture, before me. None of them know me, but God used their handling of Scripture profoundly to transform my view of God and my view of myself. I would later read a little book called The Holiness of God, by R.C. Sproul. I’d consider reading this book a transformative moment in my Christian life. It became a catalyst that God used to spark a deeper longing, a desire to know Him as he truly is, and a deep and abiding love for His Church.
I came to truly delight in God’s grace. To see that the joy of the Christian life is God himself. I came to know what it means to say with Paul, ‘I count all things as loss for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus as lord.’ And what a delight that is! This was all a work of God’s grace. He is the one who changes hearts by His Spirit. He is the one who adopts guilty sinners and calls them His own. And by His grace, He called me to himself, even though I am deeply underserving and deeply unworthy. Truly, ‘The Lord is righteous in all his ways and kind in all his works’ (Ps. 145:17).
Try God.
Also Read:
- Men in the Bible: A Man of Considerable Goodwill
- The Myth of Omnipresence (1): The 5 Places God Always Is
- Overwhelmed
- Great Truths Adults Learned
- I Passed a Professional Exam and Got a Job After 10 Years
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