In her terrible suffering, a passage of God’s words suddenly occurred to her: “Everything, from the surrounding environment to people, affairs, and things, all exist by permission of His throne. Do not on any account let grievances arise in your heart, or God will not bestow His grace upon you. … To dwell in sickness is to be sick, but to dwell in the spirit is to be well”.
God’s words brightened her heart, driving out the darkness within her; she realized that her illness had occurred with God’s permission, and that His benevolent will was within it. However, she hadn’t learned anything from this, instead blaming God when she saw her condition growing more and more serious.
Xiu thought about how God is the Lord of creation and she herself is a created being, even more insignificant than a speck of dust. How did she have any right to reason with God or blame Him? That was so unreasonable! When she realized all of this she wasted no time saying a prayer to God: “Oh God, Your will is within this illness I’ve developed, but I’m too rebellious and didn’t know to look to You in seeking, instead misunderstanding and blaming You. God, please protect my heart so that I do not sin with my words. I ask You to guide me to understanding Your will within this.”
From then on Xiu devotedly read God’s words and sang hymns in praise of God every day. She took her medicine when she was supposed to and continued to get her exercise. As for how her illness would progress, she became willing to let nature take its course and obey God’s orchestrations and arrangements. When she was unbearably tormented by her illness she prayed to God and asked Him to give her the strength to not complain to Him, and to not fear death.
Xiu went to the hospital for a checkup one day, and when the doctor took a look at her exam results, he said in surprise, “Have you been taking some kind of new medicine? How could you have recovered so well? You’ve recovered your liver function and your ascites isn’t showing up. It’s incredible!”
Hearing this was very exciting for Xiu, and she knew deep in her heart that this was God’s wondrous doing, that He had been the One to cure her. She thought of other people who had also gotten liver ascites, Mrs. Fu’s daughter from her village and Mr. Wu from the next village over—they had gone to a major hospital for several months of treatment and had spent quite a bit of money on it, but they ended up dying. She, on the other hand, had relied on God and under the guidance of God’s words, she miraculously recovered from her illness. She gave genuine thanks to God!
After going through this test of her brush with death, Xiu’s erroneous perspective on her faith shifted and she gained true understanding of God’s authority; her faith was also strengthened.
