I was raised in a wider culture that saw the gospel as a tool for self-exaltation. Coming to Jesus meant getting my heart’s desires. It meant becoming wealthy, healthy, and prosperous. Jesus meant, to me, a way to satisfy my idols. I thought, that if I ‘trusted’ him, I would never fall ill; I would get whatever I desired in life. I was wrong. I had a convoluted view of God. I saw God, not as my creator, the eternal, holy One through whom I live and move and have my being. I saw him as a distant, cold, detached figure ‘out there’. To me, he demanded obedience, and I would try to give it if I received my idols in response. It was merely a transaction.
At the bottom of all this, I would come to realise, was not only an unbiblical view of God but also a deficient view of man. I did not see God right and, because of that, I did not see myself right. I had ‘misdiagnosed’ my plight. Over time, as a child, God opened my eyes to truly see and understand the gospel. I came to see the greatness of my sin and my need for a saviour.
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