My story of finding Christ starts at a very low ebb in my life: I was leaving home, that is to say I was leaving my wife Maureen and my two daughters Catherine and Sarah. Why was I leaving home? The true and honest answer is: alcohol. Having worked myself up to a very senior position with a chemical company called BASF I found the pressure too much and started drinking, and in the end, the job with BASF became too hard for me and I had to resign. Life at home with my wife and two daughters became very difficult and although I managed to find a job as a postman, the day-to-day pressures of married life took its toll and I found myself having to leave the family home.
I found a rented home with a man called Jim; later on, I discovered that Jim was a Christian. I enjoyed living in this rented home with Jim and a few other lodgers. Then Jim invited me to come with him to the church, but I said “No”. Then Jim asked me again to come to church and again I said “No”. Eventually, for the sake of peace, I decided to go with him to church! I went to church, and then I went again and again, eventually accepting the offer of taking a course called ‘Christianity Explored’ which was designed for those who knew nothing about the Christian Faith, to help them understand something about Christ and Christianity.
By this time, I believed that God existed and Jesus was God and came to this earth as a man. So then was I a Christian? The answer was no, for there was no change in my life. I wanted to become a Christian, I prayed for weeks, and I shouted out loud in my prayers, “Lord, I am ready now, save me.” Nothing; no answer from God. I was still drinking at this time and in 2009/10 I found myself in a secure ward at Fairfield Hospital in Bury. It was in this place that I found Christ, and this is how it came about: I was being visited by the pastor of the local church that I and Jim attended. Oliver came to see me often, and this was just one of those visits.
During this visit no flash-bang conversion happened: we read the bible together, had a general talk, and then Oliver prayed and left me. Then one of the patients in the bed next to me said: “Hey will you take me for a pint?” Now that is not one of the things you ask an alcoholic, which is what we both were. I answered him in the following way, “I think we have a few problems to overcome before I can do that: first we have to pass the guards (nurses); secondly we have to open the security lock; thirdly we have to walk through the grounds, and fourthly, the biggest problem of all, you cannot get out of bed on your own, because you are physically incapable of moving yourself!”
His reply was rude, something about me going away. This made me think yes, my bed-fellow was physically sick, but I was spiritually sick, I was helpless before God, and nothing could I do to save myself, helpless, hopeless, and a completely ruined human being. Understanding this about myself, I prayed again but this time my prayer was a sincere cry that I was a helpless, undeserving sinner and I had done wrong against God. I told Him of my problems, confessed my sins, and asked for forgiveness.
That day Jesus came into my life, and my whole attitude to life and God changed; I was a new creature or to be more precise I was a new ‘work in progress’ creature. But this is not the end! I cannot end this testimony with the words, “and he lived happily ever after.” Sadly, I let Him down often. However, that day in the hospital was the start of a relationship with the Lord where, despite my failings, He has never let me down once. For a while, I continued to live with Jim, who was very supportive and helpful in my spiritual life.
Sadly, I lost my job as a postman and was on benefit for some time, but then while still living with Jim I was able to find a job as a meter reader. This went well, and at one time, I was asked to work over in Liverpool, which I gladly did. Due to new circumstances in Jim’s life, he needed to sell his house, so, at very short notice I had to find another place, and I was able to find something very quickly which was only a mile or two away from the church. Several things happened, which I now know to have been very foolish. Firstly my job became less enjoyable, I stopped going to church as much and I started going into a pub. I said to myself, “Just go in for the one drink”, but the one drink did not last for long, for I was on my own a lot, and being in the pub gave me someone to talk to.
Just talking does not go down well in a pub, it is talking and drinking and for an alcoholic who is trying to dry out, talking and drinking is not on the menu. Drink and work do not mix and so I lost my meter reading job then the lady who looks after the flats for the landlord, spotted that I was struggling to walk up the stairs to my flat, and so she telephoned my eldest daughter who was entered as my next of kin. My ex-wife answered the telephone and agreed to come and see me: when she saw me, she realized that I was at death’s door and that I needed urgent hospital attention. She telephoned for an ambulance, and my recovery from alcohol sickness started. For the next 10 months, I was treated at various hospitals and a center: Fairfield Bury, Blackburn Royal, Pendle Cottage Hospital, and Rakehead Rehab. Centre in Burnley.
Now I am in my new home: a flat in Edenfield. The Church has been very supportive during this time, particularly Rob, Tony, Maurice, Peter, and Oliver. Their love and care have been a continued source of blessing for me. I still need everybody’s help big style, but I know they are there for me. I am not out of the woods yet, many problems caused by alcohol, for instance, I am not steady on my feet, my writing hand is weak and lacks full feeling, and I will have to learn to write with my other hand. My mind cannot remember to read like I use to, I have to learn reading again. I have also lost my periphery eyesight. Abusing your body causes long-term physical disabilities, but I know that God is for me, that Jesus is my Saviour. I am part of the church family, and this church family have not washed their hands of me, despite my inability to kick my bad habit, they have given me a lot of caring love, not just in platitudes, but real active help. I am a Christian.
God is for me and I know that He will always care and support me. There is no magic formula to put right what I did wrong. My body will not be miraculously healed, yet I can go on trusting in God. I can start to live for Him again, and I know that all things will work together for good to them that love God. So, there you have it, my testimony all up-to-date and with the comment on ‘to be continued’, I have trusted in God, but I need to trust Him more, I need to look unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of my faith.
Try God
Also Read:
- Understanding God: God of Delegation
- Purpose: Sent to Redeem and Upgrade (1)
- The Pencil Story
- Delivered From a Sinful Lifestyle
- An Easter Reflection
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