I was privileged to have been brought up in a Christian home. However, it wasn’t until I was about 15 that I began to believe that everything I had heard was true. It was a gradual realisation, a work of the Holy Spirit, that God was telling me I needed to be living for and loving Him. I became aware of my failings and faults and realised that only Jesus’ sacrifice could put things right between God and me. It was at this time I was baptised.
I would love to say that I continued growing in faith from then on, but the truth is very different. When I was about 20 years old, I decided that maybe I should live my life my own way, not the way that God wanted. I fooled myself into thinking that, although I still believed in God, I didn’t need to go to church or to follow Him anymore. God wouldn’t miss me, I thought, and I didn’t need Him. How foolish I was.
One night when I was about 22, whilst I was working in a Building Society in South London, I had a nightmare about being in an armed raid. Which was not unsurprising.
However, the following morning I went to work as usual and at about 2 o’clock that afternoon two masked armed raiders walked into the building society and pointed a sawn-off shotgun at me.
I was a very young 22 year old, and didn’t know how to handle what had happened to me. The stress of having to face working in that environment day after day, and the continuing nightmares, gradually took its toll and eventually after about 6 months I quit, with no job to go to. But it had been a real wake-up call for me. What if I had died? What then?
Towards the end of those six months I began to attend church again and found what I knew I had been missing those 2 long years, a relationship with the living God. Within 2 weeks of quitting my old job I had a new one at a well-known sports centre in South London and working alongside me God had placed a lovely young Christian woman. I realised that it was all of God. He had kept me safe through all those months and He had drawn me back to Him.
When I was 26, I met and married a young man, whom I had met whilst we were both serving on a Beach Mission team in the Isle of Wight. After three years we were blessed with a daughter (Rebecca). Just after my daughter’s first birthday, we were going through a very difficult time in our marriage, probably the start of future problems, when my mother died suddenly from a heart attack. But my walk with God did not falter this time – He was now my rock.
Nine years later, when my son was 7 years old and my daughter only 10, my husband left me, again, for another woman. That first night (and for many, many nights after) I felt as though my whole world was crashing around me. And yet, despite all my tears and in the middle of all that chaos I felt an odd sense of peace – the peace that passes all understanding. It is a difficult thing to describe to someone who has never experienced it. But I knew that no matter what happened next, my God was with me in the storm and that He loved me and would never leave me, even if everyone else did.
That is not to say things were easy – it was not. It has been a hard and difficult road to walk in the years that followed, but God was faithful and surrounded me with people who loved and cared for me. And God was working on me too! I can honestly say I have forgiven my ex-husband and his partner. I feel no bitterness towards either of them.
Two years ago, due to the agreed divorce settlement I had to sell my home of 25 years. Unable to afford to stay where I was, I moved from my home in Reigate up to Ramsbottom, to be near family. Again, it has been a difficult road for me, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Leaving everything I had ever known and in particular, my dear church family, who had seen me through all the good times and the difficult times. That combined with a Pandemic made adjustments tricky. But God is good and kind and gracious and has led me to a loving fellowship here at Trinity Grace, and they have been very patient with me.
Life is an ever-changing journey, but I have learnt that through all the ups and downs, the sunshine and the rain that God is faithful and loving, and each day brings me one step nearer home.
Try God.
Also Read:
- Men in the Bible: A Man of Considerable Goodwill
- The Myth of Omnipresence (1): The 5 Places God Always Is
- Overwhelmed
- Great Truths Adults Learned
- I Passed a Professional Exam and Got a Job After 10 Years
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