After my father remarried, I felt I had lost the only significant male person in my life… I escaped into a serious relationship, though I was too vulnerable to have one. I was swept off my feet by someone who came into my life like a leading man in a movie. One day, he asked me to lunch; when I returned to my office, there were roses at my desk, with a note that read, “Can’t wait to see you again. How about dinner?”
You couldn’t wipe the smile off my face all day…
Then, out of nowhere, the fairytale crashed to the ground…he took me home from a date and announced, as I was unbuckling my seatbelt, “I don’t want to see you anymore.”
This sentence sent my world into a tailspin. He looked at me coldly and said, “Well, I woke up this morning and decided I don’t love you anymore.” The intensity of the love story dissipated as quickly as it had begun. I stood on the curb as he drove away, and when the taillights were gone, I was left in darkness.
I realized that I had completely given my heart away. So, how was I supposed to get it back? As much as I wanted to turn the page on this chapter in my life, my new wound was compounded by the unresolved pain of an old wound, a pain that came flooding back as my feelings of abandonment resurfaced. I had never really healed from the death of my mother…
I remembered the doctor had given me tranquilizers for my anxiety at work. I decided to take one. I waited five minutes, decided I wasn’t feeling any better and took another. What’s wrong with these tranquilizers? I decided to take five, then ten, then I emptied the entire bottle. All I wanted was for the pain to stop. The next I knew; the room was spinning. My last thought was: What did I do? Am I going to wake up? Who will even find me?
The next day, I opened my eyes and couldn’t believe that I was alive. I immediately sensed that God had intervened. I got up, got dressed, and went to work. The entire day I was filled with awe knowing that God had saved me. But why? Why was I spared?…
Try God
Also Read:
- Understanding God: He is Quick and Dispassionate
- Nehemiah’s Leadership Playbook: Zeal
- He Was God Backed
- Saved from Idol Worship and Death
- An Easter Reflection
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